Or: Occaional snapshots from a journey through the heartlands of old poetry.
Sometimes you do it..have a cringefest revisiting old poems. It's like reading an old diary, complete with secret marks to hide your innermost fears - should the diary ever fall into the wrong hands. I have just undertaken such a journey after reading a recent post in the most excellent Po'et`ship
. You are invited to take this journey at my own peril. It's a collection of poems from the late 70's through to the mid 90's. They are snapshots of moments in time - not a continuum and hardly reflective of a fairly full life! There are transitions from naive innocence through to a hardening and cynicism, with a glimmer of redemption. If other peoples poems about their love and life bore you STOP NOW!
It is with much embarassment and humiliation I give you...
If I knew then what I know now,
I wouldn't have felt a thing....
Like a newborn
I couldn't walk
But you led
You lent your hand
Over new ground
Your questions were my answers
I sat there, sure, certain
Nothing was said straight out
In the open
We had followers
Like the moon
We were in view of all.
When together we are alone
We will talk
Not of tides
But of this eternal thing.
I'm glad you don't wear a digitl watch
Where would you find the time?
Your delicate wrist has been wrested away.
The face I'm wearing says shockproof
Don't believe it
Nor waterproof either
Definitely not waterproof.
I wonder who is telling you what you can wear.
Does nothing seem more precious
Than the hand that holds the whip?
As the days grow longer
Emerges from her chrysalis
Gracing our calendars
With clockwork predictability
She traces her path
Across my heart.
These nights I'm lying here, it's alright,
but sometimes I wish you'd ring
just to say hi how are you and
how has your day been?
These nights I'm lying here, wondering
am I just an acquaintance, a casual
John saidyou can tell a friendship:
It's when someone seeks you out.
These nights I'm lying here , thinking,
every once a week (twice when I'm lucky)
we drink in the city refinements and supper
afterwards the desserts, such desserts!
Those nights I lay here, contented,
until the next night when nothing happened
no call, no letter, no I was just passing by
and I decided to drop in.. you don't mind?
As if I would!
No, if only you would impose (in the nicest sense)
Ask something of me, let me sense some continuity.
One night you said you were selfish with your time
Am I selfish wanting it? Perhaps I am.
But its all I ask, though not my every once a week
-please not the convenient packaged every once a week.
These nights , I'm lying here
Awaiting those rewarding touches, awaiting
Your reaches, your requests, your lips,
Awaiting release of our acquaintanceship.
Oh God, he gasped. I see colours
through a haze of black and white
Beckoned by the glowing vision
he ran, stumbled and fell at her feet.
Unperturbed by the swirling mass of sterility
Entranced by her majical movements, he smiled
I love your colours. What else was there to say?
Her eyes, her smile, her body.
He felt that joyous, exultant energy
emanating from within her shores
That energy, probing, dancing, touching
and expanding his own.
Then she saw through his mask
standing there, how he was
He felt not the icy blast of exposure
but an exciting pleasure
liberated of the sweaty suffocation
that was his mask.
He felt the freedom of a kindred spirit.
Distorted realities caved in around her
pulsing out, washing through him.
A sun became a supernova
exploding outwards upon itself
to become a black hole
but it's light goes on forever.
Inside the black hole
one becomes a spot in the void
bathed by the original light.
They exchanged words
comfortable but unnecessary
They shared the vision of the octopus
and acknowledged the destiny
they both knew.
O wicked lady, what sport were they to you?
Don't you think I understand the things that you can do.
Remember then the golden rule
The best at games will play the fool.
I've been down these long hard trails
Tasted wood and harnessed nails
Baby if you love me make me cry.
It's easy now to laugh and play
Don't really care, same old day
Baby if you love me make me cry.
Don't let me drift between sea and sky
Make me freeze burn wet and dry
Let's travel to our utmost.
I make you laugh , you make me cry
I make you live, you make me die.
Where do you go when everythings the same scene
when the cynic, not looking for love, sees all clearly.
Is there a new thrillto kill the boredom, blow the insanity.
A bar woman with big tits, skintight arse hugging hot pants,
a drug with no end, magic with power, lips and a tongue.
Someone uglywho doesn't care, eyes that know
Someone beautiful without fear, who likes to swallow
Hell burns eternally in my cock. Love gets boring.
What is romance when it all becomes a game
when I don't even care that I don't know your name.
Soon time to settle. Always known it
wan't forever. It was fun...
had to be done.
Now it's going
don't want no fuss
Soon its just the two of us
as good as all we've known
Its not really giving it all away
embracing it, it's a place to stay
Regret as a concepts gone, cos now
I know I'm moving on.
If you are still here.. not very pretty I guess. If I knew then...
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